Embodying Freya Stark: Home

“The grass is always greener on the other side.” -Unknown

“Another man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” -Unknown

“Every dreamer knows that it is entirely possible to be homesick for a place you've never been to, perhaps more homesick than for familiar ground.” -Judith Thurman

We have all heard the grass is greener on the other side. As cliché as this quote may be, its essence plays a part in our everyday lives.

Maybe that is the whole reason I came on this trip, this journey. Travel. If travel isn’t to get away from what you know, or to see greener grasses, what really is it? I’ve dreamed about finer places, more beautiful and alive than the one I was in. I have always fantasized about seeing things other than what I have seen, feeling things other than what I have felt, dreaming of things other than what my imagination could create.

Stepping into Siena was like meeting a new lover. My other one got lackluster, so I wanted to meet a new, inspiring one. In the first moments, he was beautiful, exciting, something I had never experienced. Then being rushed and whirl winded into such a new relationship that swept me off my feet, made me miss a few of the qualities in my past lover.

On the ride with him, you feel free, new, open, and happy. Once you crash on shore, all you long for is a sense of familiarity while feeling abandoned in an unknown place; but the moment you look up and realize where you are standing, where you have crashed, you form a feeling of respect, acknowledgment, and awareness. You know this place is not your home, but it offers you things to make you love it. It seduces you into believing the grass is greener and more vibrant. The city wants you to fall in love with its walls and winding steps, and dream about finding the colors you were searching for. What lover doesn’t want you to feel this way?

To build this city, someone saw loveliness, decided their old grass was grayed and dull: that these spectacularly green Tuscan hills was the best shore they could find; so, they made a home here. In unfamiliar horizons, built a home. They found familiarity in something they had never seen or been.

That is what you do when you travel, you have a desire to find familiarity in mysterious things. You want to feel at home in these cities; and see for yourself if their grass is truly greener. And where you find the greenest, most charming grass, you decide to build a home. Sometimes you venture off to explore a few other shores, but you always find yourself returning home and feeling a sense of belonging.

That doesn’t only go for cities, landscapes, or rivers, it’s people too; and isn’t that what love is? You find enough familiarity in an unfamiliar person that you decide to make them yours? To you, that person’s grass is the crispest, softest, and most fertile; their heart is a shore you want to explore forever.

We get hurt when people think the grass on the shore of our heart isn’t green or lovely enough. So much that we start comparing ours with other people’s; but not everyone’s favorite grass is the same. Some people love the lavender hills of France, the green cliffs of Ireland, or the dry desert of Egypt, and decide to make a home here. You do not see cities cry when a habitant decides to move on; so why do we? Because we always think the grass is greener on the other side, even in another person.

Cities like Siena build vertical buildings, marble duomos, and beautifully stoned streets to appeal to its habitants; just as we should do: water our hearts’ shores to grow and flourish into green pastures. Maybe once we start appreciating our own grass, instead of venturing elsewhere, we will find a long-time inhabitant who will want to stay forever.

Once I stepped to my neighbor’s yard in Italy, I realized it wasn’t greener; it was just different. Difference is what we look for in life: diverse cities, unusual food, unique smells. If we all had the same grass, there would be no need for travel or love. We would all be conditioned to merely survive on plain green grass with gray people.

Love and travel intertwine. They teach us individuality and self-acceptance. They show us the most beautiful places could be the least full, the most barren places sometimes have the most people searching, and the best place of all is where you decide to make home: the place you nourish and grow.

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” ― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky.

#travel #home #freyastark #grass #individuality